blogging as a replacement for tv

the at&t repair man, victor,  came by today to fix our internet connection.  it seems the majority of our exterior wiring was all mixed up, wires touching in places they shouldn't be and barely connected where they ought.  it's only been down for two days and my obvious dependence on this highly evolved technology has left me feeling somewhat uncomfortable.  i've survived without internet (and without other seemingly necessary things like pickles, shampoo, properly flushing toilets) for considerably longer periods of time throughout my life, what is it about this season that makes me feel so dependent upon technology?  

it's as though technology is the only thing keeping me connected to the world, either with the handful of soul-mates living on the other side of the planet or with the close friends and family i have scattered across the states.  even more-so, it's as though the technology of blogging has helped me feel better connected with my self, more challenged to articulate and therefore better able to understand my own thought processes.  

it felt silly at first, admitting to myself (and to you) the vast number of times i thought about blogging while our internet was down.  but if someone as respectable as jenell can admit to being obsessed with blogging, then at least i'm in good company.  the truth is, i'm constantly blogging in my head.  have you ever watched scrubs?  well, i feel like JD (or Dr. Dorian) with his "floating-head-doctor."  JD is constantly floating off into his own world where he narrates his life in order to better understand his experiences.  i feel like i have my own "floating-head-blogger" as my mind escapes real life to imagine what i would say if i were to blog about it.  not sure what i mean?  well, imagine me sitting on the bus, staring aimlessly out the window, or better yet, standing at the register at work, mindlessly scanning bottles of wine and bags of frozen peas.  i appear to be on auto-drive, like those broomsticks from fantasia that keep filling the well with bucket after bucket of water, only for me, it's groceries, and while my mind may seem to be blank, it's actually racing with ideas about proper sentence structure and which amusing anecdote would fit better in this particular scenario.  i can't help it.  not only am i bagging cart after cart of groceries, all done at an increasing pace as the crescendo to fantasia builds in the background, but my imagination also picks up speed as it jumps from one idea to another, following a crazy rabbit trail of thoughts that even i can't understand.  most days i feel insane.  

is this the life of a writer? always living in one's head?  or is this just me?  seems i've been living in my head for some time now... maybe blogging is my way of getting outside myself, (not totally since i'm still writing about myself), but taking my inner thoughts and putting them out for the world (okay i guess world may be going a bit too far... how about for the small handful of readers... mostly consisting of friends who i've begged to read this so i can be assured of some semblance of an audience...).  maybe blogging will help calm the chaos and provide a bit of structure to the wandering imagination.  or maybe i'll just meander through these rabbit trails of thoughts, taking you along for the ride.